“I don't get it” is one of the most common things we hear, and one of the most misleading. Ask a few questions, and it usually turns out a child understands most of the problem. One piece is missing, and that one piece makes the whole page feel impossible.
Shrink it until they can start
- The whole page 20 fraction problems. Impossible.
- Just this row Five problems. Still a lot.
- One problem Better.
- Start here The first step of it Find a common bottom number.
What “I don't get it” usually means
Everyone can only juggle a few new things in their head at once. When a problem asks for too many at the same time, like new words, new steps, and remembering the last step, the mind runs out of room and everything blurs together.1 To the child, that blur feels like “I'm not smart enough.” It's really “this is too much at once.”
That's why shrinking works. Take away all but one new thing, and suddenly there's room to think.
A quick reset for a stuck page
- Start with what's right. “You set this up perfectly. It's just this part.” It lowers the alarm and shows where the gap really is.
- Cover the rest of the page. A sheet of paper over everything but one problem. A crowded page is its own kind of too much.
- Think out loud on one example. Say every small step, even the obvious ones. Then hand over a nearly identical problem.
- Ask, don't tell. “What did we do first last time?” A question lets them find it. An answer just finishes the page.
Making it stick by tomorrow
Once they've got it, have them close the book and show you one more from memory, or explain it back to you. In a study of college students, pulling answers out of memory made material stick far better than reading it over again, and it works the same way at the kitchen table.2
If every page ends in tears no matter how small you make it, the fight may be the bigger problem: when homework turns into a fight.